I have been contemplating for a very long time as to what the first story on my blog should be and then got busy.
Since the blog started off with the idea to record everything that has been happening in our lives since a baby, it’s only apt that I start off with her birth-story.
I don’t think I would have got a better post to kickstart the blog.
Ms. T’s birth story might not really be as fascinating and interesting to others because it isn’t anything new. But for a first time mother like me, it was an out of this world experience.
Let me begin by saying, Bollywood movies spoil you. They overdo everything. Of course, I should have known it from the start but then you like to sometimes believe certain things because it makes you feel good.
Ever since I saw those two lines, I waited all of 9 months for those cravings – sweet, sour, spicy – anything! But nothing happened. In fact, I couldn’t get myself to eat much. The first trimester was to be tread with utmost care as I had an episode of internal bleeding. The second trimester went by smoothly except for the few morning sickness episodes. By the end of the second trimester, I had resigned from work and was preparing for a long hiatus to my hometown. As per rituals, the first baby is born in the mother’s home. And since it was the first baby on both sides, everything was followed to the T.
A lot of my friends were delivering around the same time and some of them had natural births. I kept talking to them to be assured that I could go the natural way as I did not have any other complications. But it just worsened my fear as they all focussed on the pain. I made up my mind that I won’t be able to do this.
I hated the internal checkups. Even before I could relax, the doctor would be stuffing in two fingers. Ugh. I’m guessing the doctor picked up on my fear and she started preparing us for a cesarean. She would keep saying that there is not enough space for the baby to come out. If you behave like this (not allowing internal checkups), then a natural birth is next to impossible. Unfortunately, I did not realise that there was a hidden agenda behind it.
My hometown is a small village and the hospital is close to 45mins away. Although the doc gave us a due date of October 6th, the fear of distance made my folks get me admitted on the 4th itself.
The birth scene in the hospital is quite a traumatic experience. There is a waiting room right next to the labour room. 8 beds shared by 2 women each. Some screaming in pain, while some waiting for their turn of screams. They won’t let you wait in your own room till the labour pain started. I was shifted to that room at 7.30am. Every 2 hours they would take you to the labour room, and stuff their fingers inside to check the dilation. Every time they checked me, they would talk amongst themselves about how natural birthing was going to be impossible for me. The fear of birthing was slowly catching up. They kept me waiting there till 3.30pm. I was getting exhausted with no food and watching all the women in labour. I was started on drips which again did not trigger the pains. By 6.30pm, the doctor informed both families that natural birthing wasn’t going to happen and they need to operate upon me.
Since the doctor had already built up the fear in all the consultations, both families thought that was the only way out and agreed to it. Me being a first time mom – had no clue what was happening.
The operation took 20 minutes.
The after effects of the anaesthesia was horrible. I woke up 4 hours after the operation and in the ICU, but it felt like days had gone by. I thought I was going to die of thirst and they refused to give me water saying they have to take the doc’s permission. The AC was unbearable and I was literally jumping off the bed in shivers. The nurses refused blankets saying it’s normal. I had to literally scream at them till they gave me the blanket.
My mother came with Ms.T for her first feed. The nurse kept getting angry as we weren’t getting the latch right. She screamed at my mom. I lost it and gave her a piece of my mind. And from there, the nurses were being extra sweet.
Once back in the room, it’s been the start of an amazing journey till now. Motherhood has been a crazy ride but I’m loving every bit of it. Of course, we have had our share of ups and downs, but we emerge a winner every single time. That’s what motherhood does to you.
This experience is definitely going to change a lot of things the next time. I will definitely have a better and well informed birth story the second time around. And these Bollywood guys need to be sued.